If thou dost marry—
I’ll give thee this Plague for thy dowry.²
The hapless daughter has but a choice of strife:
To shun a Tyrant Father hate—become a Wretched Wife!³
He secretly wants when the wedding service ends,
Her to Flatten out underneath his feet like a Mat.⁴
The large vistas and wide fresh air which she
Dreamed of finding in her husband’s mind are replaced
By ante-rooms and winding passages which lead Nowhither.⁵
Never Marry until you have ceased to love the woman
Of your choice and have seen her plainly as she is—or
All that is good and noble in you will be Wasted on trifles.⁶
When I marry, there will be no time left for love:
New cares will Smother all the old feelings.⁷
“I Hate you, I Hate you, I Hate you—”
All spouses murmur to each other constantly:
It is the fundamental litany of marriage.⁸
What shall I leave my wife who Nagged
Me to my Death? I’ll leave her more
To Nag about than she’s got Breath.⁹
Join new vows to old perjuries—
But dare not call it loving!¹⁰
¹ Ursula K. Le Guin, The Left Hand of Darkness
² William Shakespeare, Hamlet
³ Robert Burns, How Cruel Are the Parents
⁴ Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
⁵ George Eliot, Middlemarch
⁶ Leo Tolstoy tr. Louise and Aylmer Maude, War and Peace
⁷ Anton Chekhov tr. Constance Garnett, The Sea-Gull
⁸ Iris Murdoch, The Black Prince
⁹ Langston Hughes, Catch
¹⁰ Elizabeth Barrett Browning, A Woman’s Shortcomings